The stereotypes: A woman is responsible for cleaning, cooking and caring for the children and her husband. She is responsible for school runs, she attends PTA, goes to the market and is generally responsible for all domestic affairs. You may add career to the mix for her.
A man is to be cared for by his wife. He’s the lord, master and the head of the family. He provides and protects his family. He must be seen to be in control of his household dictating to his wife and children and if doesn’t do all that, he is a woman wrapper or a wimp.
May be things are a bit different in your area but what I have described above is the reality for a lot of people.
Cultural expectations on the other hand has not changed despite the reality of our days. A woman is expected to be all that I have listed above and sometimes she is not expected to have a help. Some thinks she’s lazy if she employed a cook, cleaner, nanny or househelp. She is supposed to go to work and still perform all the traditional roles.
Our double standards come into play when the man cannot fulfil his traditional role and yet, he cannot help in any other way. I read something profound today which I’ve already shared on my wall. A man concluded that if he couldn’t provide money, he could provide in other ways.
This double standard has nothing to do with whether the man is educated, enlightened or not. From the akara and roasted corn seller who is doing everything to put food on the table in her home with no support from her husband and she’s expected to play all her traditional roles plus her husband’s to the female boardroom executive.
I am not saying the man should be emasculated (is that not what they call it?) just because. All I am saying is that men should man up! It is just fair to contribute your quota in one way or the other. Find a way to provide support. It could come in any way. Stay relevant!
More and more women are getting empowered and are breaking the glass ceilings. Men must find way to stay relevant as the head, leader and provider. Leadership is not by controlling or by being oppressive. It’s about responsibility, about service, about support, about laying good examples especially for the boy – child and the girl -child. Man, you can’t hold on tightly to your traditional roles when you expect the woman to do much more. Be fair, be a leader and man up!
#raisingboys #manup #leadersbydesign #pledgeforparity
This write-up is dedicated to all women especially those who are wearing double hats. You are stronger than you think. God will reward you.
This was originally posted on my personal Facebook profile wall on the 9th of March, 2016. I decided to publish it here because it’s in line with Raising Boys vision.