I am not writing this as an expert. I am only going to share what I have learnt and what I am learning on this journey. I know in part…1Cor 13:9.
Some swear by spanking as the best form of discipline while some on the other hand totally condemn it. Those who are for it quote Prov 23:13-14…….if you beat him with the rod, he will not die, Prov 29:15 and the commonest one Prov 13:24 spare the rod……These verses are part of the justifications for those who believe in spanking. Interestingly, some people believe that the rod in Proverbs is referring to the Word of God. Their explanation is that we are supposed to train our children with God’s word and not the physical rod. For them, the rod connotes the Word of God
God told us to train up our children in the way of the Lord. Training involves teaching and giving instructions. I believe training should be deliberate and also something we do as the need arises. In fact, we should seize every opportunity to train, instruct and teach. It should involve planning and preparation for it to be effective. To train is to discipline. Discipline is also punishment to correct bad behaviour but we tend to focus more on punishment and that is where I have problem with spanking.
Beating or spanking is a lazy way of parenting. It is very easy to beat and more difficult to train because training takes effort and time. One thing we need to realise is that you do not have a right to punish your son for a behaviour until you have instructed him previously about the behaviour and you have also extended grace to him. It is difficult but I believe at the long run and especially in this generation, having the time to parent our sons will yield a positive result more than bringing out the rod, cane or belt to beat or flog each time they misbehave.
My position about beating is summarised below;
- It should be done out of love if you must and if you have to.
- It should be minimal and controlled.
- It shouldn’t be done out of anger.
- It should be used as the last resort when all else has failed.
- If you live in a country where beating is not allowed, don’t be a law breaker.
It is important that we put effort in parenting our sons. To train them up in the way they should go so they can become who God has created them to be.