Apart from being a mother, we have many other roles to play in our sons’ lives
One of this role or function is that of a confidant. A confidant is a trusted friend that you can talk to about personal or private things. A confidant is available, approachable and honest. This is one function that we cannot afford to handle with levity because you cannot really trust people to be honest with your children the way you will be.
As for me, I want to be able to win the trust of my son to the extent that he’s free to talk to me about his fears, struggles and victories. I want to be his first choice when he needs advice. I want to be able to guide him, counsel and pray for him. I want to be able to watch him grow to become a responsible man who is able to makes his decision without me.
Just like any other role, we need to prepare ourselves for it. I will highlight few below.
1. One way is by listening to him when he’s talking. There is a time that your son wants to tell you everything and ask all the questions. Make sure you are listening well. Give him the attention.
2. Be honest in answering his questions. If he knows you are sincere with him at all times whether in providing answers to his questions, telling him to wait till a more conducive time when you can engage in a meaningful conversation. If he knows you are not just dismissive, he will most likely keep coming to you both now and in the years ahead.
3. Understand your son. Know how he communicates. The secret to this is to listen attentively. Don’t jump into conclusion. Be patient. Be empathic.
4. Pray for him too. Pray for the right people to be in his life. Frustrate the counsel of Ahitophel in his life. Pray that he will not derailed by negative peer influence. Pray that he will not go to the wrong places for answers to life’s questions.
Don’t forget to build trust.
You need God’s wisdom too.
Are you your sons confidant? How did you get there? What worked for you? Let’s discuss so we can all learn.