Not held back by fear!

But we are certainly not those who are held back by fear and perish; we are among those who have faith and experience true life!

Hebrews 10:39 TPT

I saw the scriptural verse above this morning and I’m completely drawn to it.

This is my prayer that we and our sons and daughters will not be held down by fear and perish. We will be in the company of those who have faith and experience true life in Jesus name amen.

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Dignity in labour! What dignity?

There is a difference between saying a thing and believing or living the reality of it. There is a popular saying that there is dignity in labour. We expect everyone to work with their hands and earn a honest wage but do we really ascribe dignity to certain works or jobs? This is a question for everyone especially those who are raising sons.

No one should be treated poorly or be made to be ashamed of what they have to do to put food on their table or cloth on their back. I am definitely not referring to things people do to dispossess others of their hard-earned money. Anyone doing fraud or fraud related hustling should desist from it. There is no dignity in that.

But if you must do odd jobs – cleaning, driving taxi, labour, whatever it is to earn a living honestly, please do it with pride. You are not a thief or a cheat so, you don’t need to be ashamed.

Hear what Martin Luther King, Jr wrote about work or labour;

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.

The Holy Book also admonish those who will not work not to eat.
Work and enjoy eating, you have earned it. You will be teaching your children especially your sons the importance of work and the dignity in work.

Take instructions

Yesterday on Raising Boys Facebook group, we prayed for our sons that they will hear God’s voice and obey. They will also hear our voice ringing constantly in their heads and they will learn to choose life at all times in Jesus name amen. It then means you have to align your words with God’s word to be able to pray that prayer.

What exactly do you want to hear in a voice? Instructions, directions, encouragement, support, comfort etc are some of the things that came to mind. What if all those things we seek or expect have already been written down for us somewhere? The truth is that we are either ignorant of that fact or we just refuse to know what has been written down for us already.

Something happened to me yesterday. I entered a lift in a place I wasn’t familiar with. I pressed my floor number but it button for the floor didnt come on. Then the lift began to move and took me to another floor, 3 floors after mine. I entered another lift, pressed my floor without success until I decided to look up and around for any instruction on why the lift was not responding. Guess what? I had a card in my possession which I should have used to clock in before selecting my floor. How many of us are like me who though has been empowered with all she needs to move to the desired level, has remain in the same level. Infact, I was derailed at some point.

Whoever you are, seek knowledge, embrace it, list to instructions and follow them for yourself and your sons.

My thoughts on meekness.

It’s been a while since I posted anything here. Let me start by wishing all who visit here a lovely and prosperous 2018 for you and your sons. I may have been quiet here but I have been more active on the Facebook group that I run for parents of boys. It used to be strictly for mums of boys up until the beginning of this year.

I post about prayers once a week on the Facebook group because I believe that prayer is one effective way to parent successfully. In prayer, you connect with the One who created your sons and download the best way to raise them. Wisdom, strength and guidance are made available when we pray.

Our prayer this week was about meekness. It was a struggle before I posted it because we live in a world where being bold, courageous, being able to stand up for ourself and being assertive are qualities that many of us desire for our sons as they navigate through life. I felt exhibiting meekness was not in line with what I was trying to teach my sons. But I was wrong because meekness is God’s desire for us and meekness is not weakness.

Meekness is having all those qualities I had described above- boldness, assertiveness, confidence etc under the control of the Holy Spirit. It’s strength under control. Meekness will know I have the power to do something or react in a particular way but I choose to humble myself. I choose to live a life under God’s influence and control.

This is what I desire for my sons. To be bold, courageous, to be able to stand for themselves, to be assertive. Not weak and subdued. Above all, my prayer is that they will be meek. They will be humble and submit to the Holy Spirit. I pray they will be meek and not weak.

 

God’s Masterpiece!

I started a series last week on Raising Boys Facebook group about boys being God’s masterpiece.

A masterpiece is a work of outstanding skill. An amazing creation. Limited edition. That’s who your son is. No one is like him in the whole world. He might be a twin but he’s unique and special. His feature, his purpose, his personality and all about him are unique and specially chosen for him by God who created him.

Knowing all these should make you pay close attention to him. I’m not talking about smothering him with love and attention but instead letting your love, care and commitment expressed in various ways mould him into that man who God has created him to be.

Take a good look at your son today and appreciate God for that masterpiece put in your care. Then, let him know he’s unique and special. Pray it, say it loud that he’s unique and special and that he’s created for good works.

God does not make mistakes. Yours is one of his creations. He’s not a mistake. He’s a masterpiece!

 

10 years of God’s faithfulness – Alex is T E N!

It’s been ten years of God’s faithfulness to me and my family as we mark my son’s birthday yesterday. I am particularly grateful to God for how he has sustained him over the years.

He is my first, the one with whom I experienced childbirth for the very first time. It wasn’t easy for me at all but I will spare you the details today. I’m just grateful that I didn’t end up 6 feet below ground.

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I pray for you today that you will fulfill purpose. You will be that example of a godly, faithful, successful and awesome man. You are very caring and considerate. My prayer is that you will be wise enough to recognize those who will like to take an advantage of that. You will grow to become a man of integrity and honesty in Jesus name amen.

Have a happy birthday!

Put God’s name on your sons

To aid us in praying for our sons today is one of the most powerful prayers​ in the Bible. It is found in Numbers 6:22-27

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.” ’ “So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”
Numbers 6:22‭-‬27 NKJV

Aaron and his sons were priests of the most high God in their times. They were to bless the children of Israel with God’s name. You, if you have given your heart to God, are a priest 1Peter2:9. You have the mandate to bless your sons and put God’s name on them.

This period as children begin to return to school is a good time to set our sons apart for God in the place of prayer. It is a good time to put God’s name on them.

Pray from the Message Version with me.

God bless my sons and keep them, God smile on them and gift them, God look my sons full in the face and make them prosper in Jesus name amen.

http://bible.com/97/num.6.24-27.MSG

May God confirm his word by blessing your sons in Jesus name amen.

Have a blessed week!

When you are raising sons in a toxic environment

It’s sharing Tuesday in the Facebook group I currently run for moms and guardians of boys.

Today, I will like to encourage women who are striving to raise sons in a less than an ideal situation/environment. You want to raise the perfect gentlemen who is also in love with Jesus but the main character in your story, the one who should be a good example to your sons is badly behaved. What do you do?

Depending on the seriousness of the misbehavior, you may need to do the following;

1. Pray. Ask for wisdom to handle the situation you have found yourself. Ask God for divine intervention. Pray without ceasing. Each time I read or hear this Scripture……if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do? My answer is always the righteous can pray. Don’t watch while the foundation of your sons is being destroyed. Pray and change the situation.

2. Be wise. Know when to speak and when to keep quiet to avoid unnecessary tension at home. Sometimes, silence does more than all the noise put together. In quietness shall be your strength Isaiah 30:15. Moreover, there’s time for everything.

3. Talk about the situation with your sons not to castigate their father but to let them know that some behaviors are not acceptable. You could say something like, ‘Dad is angry and it’s okay to be angry about issues but it’s not good to…….’ Then, you can proceed to teach him how to manage his anger when he’s upset.

4. If the atmosphere is too toxic for your sons, consider leaving temporarily or permanently for their sake. Don’t say you are staying because of them and you end up damaging them in the process.

I will love to read your thoughts about what I’ve shared.

To spank, beat, flog or not

I am not writing this as an expert. I am only going to share what I have learnt and what I am learning on this journey. I know in part…1Cor 13:9.

Some swear by spanking as the best form of discipline while some on the other hand totally condemn it. Those who are for it quote Prov 23:13-14…….if you beat him with the rod, he will not die, Prov 29:15 and the commonest one Prov 13:24 spare the rod……These verses are part of the justifications for those who believe in spanking. Interestingly, some people believe that the rod in Proverbs is referring to the Word of God. Their explanation is that we are supposed to train our children with God’s word and not the physical rod. For them, the rod connotes the Word of God

God told us to train up our children in the way of the Lord. Training involves teaching and giving instructions. I believe training should be deliberate and also something we do as the need arises. In fact, we should seize every opportunity to train, instruct and teach. It should involve planning and preparation for it to be effective. To train is to discipline. Discipline is also punishment to correct bad behaviour but we tend to focus more on punishment and that is where I have problem with spanking.

Beating or spanking is a lazy way of parenting. It is very easy to beat and more difficult to train because training takes effort and time. One thing we need to realise is that you do not have a right to punish your son for a behaviour until you have instructed him previously about the behaviour and you have also extended grace to him. It is difficult but I believe at the long run and especially in this generation, having the time to parent our sons will yield a positive result more than bringing out the rod, cane or belt to beat or flog each time they misbehave.

My position about beating is summarised below;

  1. It should be done out of love if you must and if you have to.
  2. It should be minimal and controlled.
  3. It shouldn’t be done out of anger.
  4. It should be used as the last resort when all else has failed.
  5. If you live in a country where beating is not allowed, don’t be a law breaker.

It is important that we put effort in parenting our sons. To train them up in the way they should go so they can become who God has created them to be.

Why are you shouting?

When my 1st son was much younger probably before he turned 3 years old. He used to ask his grandma – my mum anytime she raised her voice, ‘Grandma, why are you shouting?’ He used to ask the question very innocently. Rewind back to when I was much younger, I and my siblings used to tease my mum about our grandma. She could shout for Africa and we sincerely hoped my mum wouldn’t learn to shout like her mum. Your guess is as good as mine whether that hope was dashed or not.

Fast forward to decades later, I have unconsciously become a yeller – is that not what they call it now?

I once read that people shout when there is a wall separating them. Those whose hearts are knitted, with no wall standing between them only need to whisper. So, if you are shouting, does it mean there is a wall between and your children or spouse as the case may be? Wall could be your lack of understanding of how to communicate with that son. Are you really listening to him? Because by listening, you will understand your and know the best way to communicate with him. Sometimes, you may need to cast down every imaginations and every high thing in the place of prayer to be able to communicate effectively.

It’s important we mind the way we use our words on our sons and daughters because our words have tremendous power to break or make them. The people of Solomon Islands understands this. I read that to fell a great tree, they yell on the tree daily and after 30 days of cursing and yelling enough negative energy would have been generated to bring the tree down. I don’t know how true the story about Solomon Islands is but one thing is sure yelling is counter productive to you and your sons.

If you have trained them to only obey you when you have yelled, please re-train them to obey you while you are whispering. You don’t have to raise your voice to prove any point.

I am going to start a no yelling challenge with my boys. No yelling, just talking and whispering…lol. Who will join me?