Where are the fathers?

I had a very brief converstion with a boy of about 10 or 11 years old. He approached me to clean the wind shield of my car during a brief traffic stop at Bori Camp junction in Port Harcourt.

I declined his offer to clean the windshield so, he asked that I give him money to buy food. You see, I am always curious about the boys who clean windshields or just loiter around in major busstops and along major roads selling wares in traffic. So, I asked about his parents and he said he doesn’t have. It was just him and his brother who was somewhere down the road that live together.

He said something that touched me. He said if I have a father, I won’t be here. We didn’t talk long enough for me to ask whether his parents were dead or unavailable but one thing is sure, that boy had no parental supervision.

There are many fathers who are alive but missing from the lives of their children. They fail to show up for their children in school, at home and in the society in general. The only contribution they have in their children’s lives is just the seeds donated before conception.

We all have to make a difference in the next generation by teaching our sons to be responsible from their young age. Teach your sons to be responsible for their younger ones within their capacity. Praise them generously if they went out of their way to care for their little ones- siblings or cousins within or outside the home.

Even if they have not had the best example at home, they can learn from you through positive reinforcement when they have demonstrated responsibility no matter how little.



One of the things that can keep a boy out of trouble is for him to hide God’s word in his heart. The best way to start is to read the Bible together with your sons, committing verses from where you read to memory with them.

I can still remember the memory verses that I learnt when I was a child. They have come handy when I need them. Remember, when you train a child in the way he should go, when he grows older, he will not depart from that way. Remember also that a young man can only keep his way pure by living according to God’s word.

Below are few verses that you can start learning with your sons from today.

  1. ‘In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. ‘ Genesis 1:1
  2. ‘Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful.’ Psalm 1:1
  3. ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.’ Psalms 23:1

  4. ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;’ Proverbs 3:5
  5. ‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. ‘ John 3:16
  6. ‘“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. ‘ John 10:11
  7. ‘Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. ‘ John 11:25
  8. ‘for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ‘ Romans 3:23
  9. ‘Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, ‘ 1 Corinthians 13:4
  10. ‘Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”’ John 3:3

I suggest you learn one per week and if you need to be accountable, please let me know in the comment section.

God bless.

Not held back by fear!

But we are certainly not those who are held back by fear and perish; we are among those who have faith and experience true life!

Hebrews 10:39 TPT

I saw the scriptural verse above this morning and I’m completely drawn to it.

This is my prayer that we and our sons and daughters will not be held down by fear and perish. We will be in the company of those who have faith and experience true life in Jesus name amen.

Dignity in labour! What dignity?

There is a difference between saying a thing and believing or living the reality of it. There is a popular saying that there is dignity in labour. We expect everyone to work with their hands and earn a honest wage but do we really ascribe dignity to certain works or jobs? This is a question for everyone especially those who are raising sons.

No one should be treated poorly or be made to be ashamed of what they have to do to put food on their table or cloth on their back. I am definitely not referring to things people do to dispossess others of their hard-earned money. Anyone doing fraud or fraud related hustling should desist from it. There is no dignity in that.

But if you must do odd jobs – cleaning, driving taxi, labour, whatever it is to earn a living honestly, please do it with pride. You are not a thief or a cheat so, you don’t need to be ashamed.

Hear what Martin Luther King, Jr wrote about work or labour;

All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.

The Holy Book also admonish those who will not work not to eat.
Work and enjoy eating, you have earned it. You will be teaching your children especially your sons the importance of work and the dignity in work.

Take instructions

Yesterday on Raising Boys Facebook group, we prayed for our sons that they will hear God’s voice and obey. They will also hear our voice ringing constantly in their heads and they will learn to choose life at all times in Jesus name amen. It then means you have to align your words with God’s word to be able to pray that prayer.

What exactly do you want to hear in a voice? Instructions, directions, encouragement, support, comfort etc are some of the things that came to mind. What if all those things we seek or expect have already been written down for us somewhere? The truth is that we are either ignorant of that fact or we just refuse to know what has been written down for us already.

Something happened to me yesterday. I entered a lift in a place I wasn’t familiar with. I pressed my floor number but it button for the floor didnt come on. Then the lift began to move and took me to another floor, 3 floors after mine. I entered another lift, pressed my floor without success until I decided to look up and around for any instruction on why the lift was not responding. Guess what? I had a card in my possession which I should have used to clock in before selecting my floor. How many of us are like me who though has been empowered with all she needs to move to the desired level, has remain in the same level. Infact, I was derailed at some point.

Whoever you are, seek knowledge, embrace it, list to instructions and follow them for yourself and your sons.

My thoughts on meekness.

It’s been a while since I posted anything here. Let me start by wishing all who visit here a lovely and prosperous 2018 for you and your sons. I may have been quiet here but I have been more active on the Facebook group that I run for parents of boys. It used to be strictly for mums of boys up until the beginning of this year.

I post about prayers once a week on the Facebook group because I believe that prayer is one effective way to parent successfully. In prayer, you connect with the One who created your sons and download the best way to raise them. Wisdom, strength and guidance are made available when we pray.

Our prayer this week was about meekness. It was a struggle before I posted it because we live in a world where being bold, courageous, being able to stand up for ourself and being assertive are qualities that many of us desire for our sons as they navigate through life. I felt exhibiting meekness was not in line with what I was trying to teach my sons. But I was wrong because meekness is God’s desire for us and meekness is not weakness.

Meekness is having all those qualities I had described above- boldness, assertiveness, confidence etc under the control of the Holy Spirit. It’s strength under control. Meekness will know I have the power to do something or react in a particular way but I choose to humble myself. I choose to live a life under God’s influence and control.

This is what I desire for my sons. To be bold, courageous, to be able to stand for themselves, to be assertive. Not weak and subdued. Above all, my prayer is that they will be meek. They will be humble and submit to the Holy Spirit. I pray they will be meek and not weak.


God’s Masterpiece!

I started a series last week on Raising Boys Facebook group about boys being God’s masterpiece.

A masterpiece is a work of outstanding skill. An amazing creation. Limited edition. That’s who your son is. No one is like him in the whole world. He might be a twin but he’s unique and special. His feature, his purpose, his personality and all about him are unique and specially chosen for him by God who created him.

Knowing all these should make you pay close attention to him. I’m not talking about smothering him with love and attention but instead letting your love, care and commitment expressed in various ways mould him into that man who God has created him to be.

Take a good look at your son today and appreciate God for that masterpiece put in your care. Then, let him know he’s unique and special. Pray it, say it loud that he’s unique and special and that he’s created for good works.

God does not make mistakes. Yours is one of his creations. He’s not a mistake. He’s a masterpiece!


10 years of God’s faithfulness – Alex is T E N!

It’s been ten years of God’s faithfulness to me and my family as we mark my son’s birthday yesterday. I am particularly grateful to God for how he has sustained him over the years.

He is my first, the one with whom I experienced childbirth for the very first time. It wasn’t easy for me at all but I will spare you the details today. I’m just grateful that I didn’t end up 6 feet below ground.


I pray for you today that you will fulfill purpose. You will be that example of a godly, faithful, successful and awesome man. You are very caring and considerate. My prayer is that you will be wise enough to recognize those who will like to take an advantage of that. You will grow to become a man of integrity and honesty in Jesus name amen.

Have a happy birthday!

Put God’s name on your sons

To aid us in praying for our sons today is one of the most powerful prayers​ in the Bible. It is found in Numbers 6:22-27

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.” ’ “So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”
Numbers 6:22‭-‬27 NKJV

Aaron and his sons were priests of the most high God in their times. They were to bless the children of Israel with God’s name. You, if you have given your heart to God, are a priest 1Peter2:9. You have the mandate to bless your sons and put God’s name on them.

This period as children begin to return to school is a good time to set our sons apart for God in the place of prayer. It is a good time to put God’s name on them.

Pray from the Message Version with me.

God bless my sons and keep them, God smile on them and gift them, God look my sons full in the face and make them prosper in Jesus name amen.


May God confirm his word by blessing your sons in Jesus name amen.

Have a blessed week!

When you are raising sons in a toxic environment

It’s sharing Tuesday in the Facebook group I currently run for moms and guardians of boys.

Today, I will like to encourage women who are striving to raise sons in a less than an ideal situation/environment. You want to raise the perfect gentlemen who is also in love with Jesus but the main character in your story, the one who should be a good example to your sons is badly behaved. What do you do?

Depending on the seriousness of the misbehavior, you may need to do the following;

1. Pray. Ask for wisdom to handle the situation you have found yourself. Ask God for divine intervention. Pray without ceasing. Each time I read or hear this Scripture……if the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do? My answer is always the righteous can pray. Don’t watch while the foundation of your sons is being destroyed. Pray and change the situation.

2. Be wise. Know when to speak and when to keep quiet to avoid unnecessary tension at home. Sometimes, silence does more than all the noise put together. In quietness shall be your strength Isaiah 30:15. Moreover, there’s time for everything.

3. Talk about the situation with your sons not to castigate their father but to let them know that some behaviors are not acceptable. You could say something like, ‘Dad is angry and it’s okay to be angry about issues but it’s not good to…….’ Then, you can proceed to teach him how to manage his anger when he’s upset.

4. If the atmosphere is too toxic for your sons, consider leaving temporarily or permanently for their sake. Don’t say you are staying because of them and you end up damaging them in the process.

I will love to read your thoughts about what I’ve shared.